Monday, March 28, 2016

Holy (Moly) Week

This week was Holy week... as we celebrated the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 
Most people were taking frequent trips to their local churches in celebration with the Body... The Letts, however, were making frequent trips to Children's hospital with our kids' bodies. 
We started the week off with the awakening of a Hank, screaming and vomiting at 1am Monday morning. Taylor and I scurried to get him in the tub and clean/sanitize his bed and path to the bathtub.  Of course there would be two more times of this to follow. Hank and Taylor both finally fell asleep around 5:30 that morning and Taylor and I were both exhausted that day. Thankfully we have amazing moms who stepped in to help. Lena went to grandma Lett's and grandma Maynard came to help clean/sanitize and watch Hank and Ruby while we got some rest. While we tried to get fluids in Hank, they just wouldn't stay in... the vomiting ceased, but then things started erupting out the other end... poor guy just wasn't having a great day. We felt like we had over-exposed him to people and bacteria that weekend and he likely caught a "bug." So... after trying our best to get him to drink all day, we finally called the oncologists (again, after calling them when symptoms all started @ 1am) to see if we needed to bring him in for fluids... bad things start to happen if a cancer patient gets dehydrated, things we'd rather not be witness to. And they agreed that with him going to sleep, and not taking fluid in for the duration of the night in addition to Monday's lacking... he should come in to check his hydration level and get it up if low. So, at 9pm, we headed off to Children's. After an hour in traffic, which is normally a 20-25 minute drive, we arrived in the ER, where we waited another hour, and finally ended up in a room... were we waited another half hour before Hank was treated. They gave him fluids and a strong antibiotic, he ate three popsicles, and we were on our way home again. Needless to say, we were tired the next morning. Tuesday was a lazy day with not much on the agenda, thankfully. 
Wednesday Hank went in for his outpatient injection, to which he really didn't have much in the way of side effects. We laid low the entire week, to give him time to build his system back up. Friday, I had to go to Children's in the morning to pick up an antibiotic his doctor wanted him to take prior to his next round of the week-long Irinotecan injections... traffic was not so horrendous this time! Yay! 
That evening, Grandma and Grandpa Maynard were going to watch the kiddos while this mommy and daddy went on a date night. So after the kids were settled, we went for sushi, drinks and a movie! The sushi was delicious, but as we were headed to the movie we got a call... kid screaming in the background. Lena had tipped over off a toddler bike and hurt her wrist. With what we thought might be a broken wrist, we had mom meet us at... no surprise here... Children's. After only an hour and a half in the waiting room (I was truly surprised at this) we were taken back to a room... where we waited another half hour to be seen. By the time they were ready to take her to X-rays, we decided it was best I take Ruby home and wait there... hopefully to get some rest. Taylor and Lena headed into X-rays and came home with a splint on her potentially fractured left wrist around 1:30am. 
We rounded out the week with two separate Easter celebrations with our families. It was good to be surrounded by loved ones rather than hospital staff. This was an exhausting week. This week also brought it all home... and reminded us that we are now protecting a fragile immune system. I was fighting back tears as we walked Hank, with his medical grade surgical mask, and Lena, with her splint framed wrist, down the aisle toward communion on Easter morning. It just felt like life was snowballing. The reality that our son would need more restricted exposure, meaning we would need more restricted exposure as well. I installed hand sanitizing dispensers on the walls as you enter both our doors. Tears rolled down my face as I placed the bags of sanitizer in these "sterile" additions to our home. I had ordered shoe covers, which are now here for visitors who don't want to take off their shoes... and masks for our visitors as well. It feels like a hospital. So I started to hang things on the wall... because the blank walls made it feel more so like a hospital/sterile place. I want our home to feel like home, not another hospital room... but I want it to be just as safe as a hospital. I love my family and friends, but I have a feeling we will be seeing less and less of them as the year progresses. Taylor and I are grappling with all the realities of life coming to a head lately... it is hard to not be frustrated and discouraged when it feels like we are carrying so much lately. Having people quote scriptures like "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear."
I feel that I should disclose that scripture of this nature is not really comforting at this time... bumper sticker phrases of scripture are not likely to go over well with us in this season. Saying you are praying for us, yes... but telling us we are stronger than the burdens... not so much. We are hurting. We are struggling. Taylor and I are both processing things differently... but quoting scripture at us right now, it is not helpful or encouraging to either of us. We love the Lord. We are trusting in God... but taking scripture out of context and trying to make it fit ours, well, it hurts us more than it helps us. Because we feel like right now, this all IS more than we can bear. That these burdens ARE too great for us. This is where we can lay them at the Lord's feet... but it is constant. It is not a one time deal. It is every time Hank goes to the bathroom, or coughs, or puts his fingers in his mouth, or forgets to wash his hands, or comes in contact with someone we don't know well, or has a slight fever, or sleeps later than usual, or drinks the bath water... the list goes on. The days go on. It is non-stop for now. 
We realize everyone means well, we just need you to be sympathetic with us, and not necessarily encouraging right now. Mourn with us... and when we are ready to celebrate the triumphs... celebrate with us. Thanks all. 

On a side note:
Last year on Good Friday we spent the evening in the ER with Corin. This year, Lena decided to carry on the tradition... The only difference is that instead of stabbing herself in the throat with a severed chopstick, she fell off a toddler bike and possibly fractured her wrist. My kids apparently like to join in on the suffering on Good Fridays. Praying for quick healing for Lena... And that this wouldn't continue to be a tradition with our kids.

1 comment:

  1. My heart breaks for you all. Praying for your family every single day, Lindsey. Thank you for your raw honesty.